Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurricane 101

Hello all.  I know I’ve been gone from the blog scene for some time, but seeing as how I’m holed up in my apartment for the next 36ish hours, I figured I would get back to blogging.  And why not talk about that lovely lady, Irene.

I’m here to give some preparation advice.  “But Leighton, this is your first Hurricane?!”  Correct, but three things in my defense.  1) I lived in Oklahoma for 23 years.  2) I lived in Florida for 4 months and they loved to talk about hurricanes.  3) I have a younger sister.  Take all three of these and I would consider myself overly qualified to talk about whirling masses of hot air.

Tip #1.  If you need beer, get it early.

Water can wait folks.  I went to the local grocery store yesterday around 5 PM (Roughly 36 hours pre-Irene).  There was modestly elevated activity, but nothing chaotic.  The store had water stacked up from floor to ceiling.  Literally, water everywhere.  I’m pretty sure no one had bought a single bottle of the stuff.  After I grabbed my essentials (more on these later) I figured I had time enough to get over and scout the beer section, just in case by some miracle they had something decent.  To my surprise, they were almost completely cleaned out.  Water?  Floor to ceiling.  Beer?  One six pack of Modelo.  Priorities…

Tip #2.  Food.

Now, this is where my real expertise lies.  First thing you are going to need is cereal.  Why?  Cause you can eat it for every meal.  My recommendations are Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Honey Bunches of Oats.  Next thing you are going to need is ice cream.  Why?  Dumb question.  It’s ice cream.  You don’t ask questions about ice cream.  I’m just hoping that two pints holds me until Monday.  And really, that’s about it food wise.  I have some Pop Chips to sprinkle in some flare, but really cereal and ice cream are the must haves to get you through any hurricane.

Tip #3 Netflix and ATDHE.

Instant stream is just like $8 a month.  $9 a month?  Cheap.  To tell you the truth, I won’t really start to panic until Netflix goes down and I have to think of something else to do.  Prison Break, The Office, 30 Rock, and Arrested Development are all solid TV options.  And of course, if you need your EPL or preseason NFL fix and you don’t have cable, just Google ATDHE.  Sure the government seized their website a few months ago, but who really cares what Janet Napolitano says anyway?

And that’s about it!  Sure, there are other things like flash lights, batteries, high ground, yada yada, but just make sure you have ice cream and I’m sure you’ll figure out the rest.  I’ll see you kids on the flip side…