Monday, February 7, 2011

The Mechanic

The subways in NYC are an interesting place.  Rats, trash, homeless guys…there’s something for everybody.  The longer I’m in NYC the more I find myself thinking, public transportation really sucks.  I mean, really sucks.  A little story from my travels this morning to illustrate this point.

I like to walk Emily to work in the morning, which is up in the Bronx.  Not the sketchiest place in the whole world, but I always feel better knowing there’s a strong hulk of a man such as myself there just in case.  We take the D to 167th, and then I turn right back around to come home.  We like to call the D “The Deuce” because we’ve heard stories on two separate occasions of people finding poop on the train.  Now 167th is a run of the mill station that makes you feel like you would rather be anywhere but at 167th.  On this particular morning a man approached me looking for some conversation…

DUDE: Hey, what did you think of that move The Mechanic”?

MY THOUGHTS: Weird way to start up a conversation, but whatever.  I have really zero desire to see that particular film.

ME: Yeah man, looked pretty good.

DUDE: Yeah it was awesome.  Guy took this n*##@! and threw him in front of the bus like…[act out guy throwing other guy in front of a bus].  Gosh that was sweet.

MY THOUGHTS: Wow, that’s like the scariest thing you could tell me as we wait for a 200 ton piece of steel to come hurtling down the tracks to pick us up.

ME: Yeah, awesome.

DUDE: Yeah it has that Jason Statham guy …

MY THOUGHTS: I can’t stand him.

DUDE: … who is pretty sweet.

ME: Yeah.

DUDE: Yeah I have the movie on me.


DUDE: [walking towards me unzipping his jacket and reaching into one of the inside pockets to show me a knock off of the movie that I’m sure he purchased illegally seeing as how it just got to theaters like last week]  See I got it right here.

MY THOUGHTS: Dude, the easiest way to scare a white boy from Oklahoma on the subway is to walk towards him opening your coat and saying, “I got it right here.”  God, I don’t ask for much but if you could bring The Deuce by the 167th in the very near future…

30 seconds later, prayers answered. Gotta love the subways!

1 comment:

Stacey Cole (formerly Roberts) said...

I must admit, I love reading stories by you. I think because I know you well enough to see/hear you telling them. It's been awhile. Sounds like you are doing very well. Miss you friend!