The subways in NYC are an interesting place. Rats, trash, homeless guys…there’s something for everybody. The longer I’m in NYC the more I find myself thinking, public transportation really sucks. I mean, really sucks. A little story from my travels this morning to illustrate this point.
I like to walk Emily to work in the morning, which is up in the Bronx. Not the sketchiest place in the whole world, but I always feel better knowing there’s a strong hulk of a man such as myself there just in case. We take the D to 167th, and then I turn right back around to come home. We like to call the D “The Deuce” because we’ve heard stories on two separate occasions of people finding poop on the train. Now 167th is a run of the mill station that makes you feel like you would rather be anywhere but at 167th. On this particular morning a man approached me looking for some conversation…
DUDE: Hey, what did you think of that move The Mechanic”?
MY THOUGHTS: Weird way to start up a conversation, but whatever. I have really zero desire to see that particular film.
ME: Yeah man, looked pretty good.
DUDE: Yeah it was awesome. Guy took this n*##@! and threw him in front of the bus like…[act out guy throwing other guy in front of a bus]. Gosh that was sweet.
MY THOUGHTS: Wow, that’s like the scariest thing you could tell me as we wait for a 200 ton piece of steel to come hurtling down the tracks to pick us up.
ME: Yeah, awesome.
DUDE: Yeah it has that Jason Statham guy …
MY THOUGHTS: I can’t stand him.
DUDE: … who is pretty sweet.
ME: Yeah.
DUDE: Yeah I have the movie on me.
MY THOUGHTS: WHA?!
DUDE: [walking towards me unzipping his jacket and reaching into one of the inside pockets to show me a knock off of the movie that I’m sure he purchased illegally seeing as how it just got to theaters like last week] See I got it right here.
MY THOUGHTS: Dude, the easiest way to scare a white boy from Oklahoma on the subway is to walk towards him opening your coat and saying, “I got it right here.” God, I don’t ask for much but if you could bring The Deuce by the 167th in the very near future…
30 seconds later, prayers answered. Gotta love the subways!
I like to walk Emily to work in the morning, which is up in the Bronx. Not the sketchiest place in the whole world, but I always feel better knowing there’s a strong hulk of a man such as myself there just in case. We take the D to 167th, and then I turn right back around to come home. We like to call the D “The Deuce” because we’ve heard stories on two separate occasions of people finding poop on the train. Now 167th is a run of the mill station that makes you feel like you would rather be anywhere but at 167th. On this particular morning a man approached me looking for some conversation…
DUDE: Hey, what did you think of that move The Mechanic”?
MY THOUGHTS: Weird way to start up a conversation, but whatever. I have really zero desire to see that particular film.
ME: Yeah man, looked pretty good.
DUDE: Yeah it was awesome. Guy took this n*##@! and threw him in front of the bus like…[act out guy throwing other guy in front of a bus]. Gosh that was sweet.
MY THOUGHTS: Wow, that’s like the scariest thing you could tell me as we wait for a 200 ton piece of steel to come hurtling down the tracks to pick us up.
ME: Yeah, awesome.
DUDE: Yeah it has that Jason Statham guy …
MY THOUGHTS: I can’t stand him.
DUDE: … who is pretty sweet.
ME: Yeah.
DUDE: Yeah I have the movie on me.
MY THOUGHTS: WHA?!
DUDE: [walking towards me unzipping his jacket and reaching into one of the inside pockets to show me a knock off of the movie that I’m sure he purchased illegally seeing as how it just got to theaters like last week] See I got it right here.
MY THOUGHTS: Dude, the easiest way to scare a white boy from Oklahoma on the subway is to walk towards him opening your coat and saying, “I got it right here.” God, I don’t ask for much but if you could bring The Deuce by the 167th in the very near future…
30 seconds later, prayers answered. Gotta love the subways!
1 comment:
I must admit, I love reading stories by you. I think because I know you well enough to see/hear you telling them. It's been awhile. Sounds like you are doing very well. Miss you friend!
Post a Comment